Monday, May 21, 2007

A Not-So-Heroic Moment

"Conquer yourself each day from the very first moment, getting up on the dot, at a set time, without granting a single minute to laziness. If with the help of God, you conquer yourself in the moment, you have accomplished a great deal for the rest of the day. It's so discouraging to find yourself beaten in the first skirmish." (Saint Escriva, The Way, 191)

I awoke this morning with dreaded thoughts of the day to come. So, what is sometimes referred to as the "heroic moment," the first opportunity we have as we awaken to turn our thoughts to God, offering our day to Him, and heroically, immediately, joyfully rising without hesitation, was completely fumbled by me. I put the pillow over my head, made some excuses as to why I could stay in bed a little longer, and fed my discouragement. The truth is, I don't like Mondays, and this Monday was going to be a challenge. I went away this weekend with my three youngest and my older son, leaving my husband with the four others. Besides the normal things we have on Mondays...CCD, soccer practice, music lessons and some school work to finish for the year; I also have to add tons of laundry, a messy checkbook, dinner to make, an important meeting for my husband tonight, preparation for my educational consultant meeting tomorrow morning, and organizing my older boys into some neighborhood yard work. ARGH, can't I just sleep a little longer? The house is quiet and I am T-I-R-E-D!

So, all this is to say is that I failed my first test of the day. I was grumpy too. I write this not to encourage you to do likewise, but to remind you that we who write blogs to share all of the things we do right also get a'lot wrong. The next time I feel like shutting the world down and going back to bed, I need to remember to offer it up, get up, and be a hero!

Peace, Hope