Culture of Death Resistance

My husband and I watched the movie Valkyrie last night. I enjoyed it but didn't think I would because of a scathing review I read. It is about the last unsuccessful asassination attempt on Hitler. Tom Cruise plays Claus Phillip Maria Schenck Graf von Stauffenberg, a colonel in the German army who plants a bomb in the room where Hitler is conducting a military briefing. I read up a little bit before going and found the movie to be historically accurate. There is now a German Resistance Memorial Center. An inscription there reads “Here in the former Army High Command, Germans organized the attempt to overthrow the lawless National Socialist regime on July 20, 1944. For this they sacrificed their lives.”

During the movie, I couldn't help drawing parallels in my own mind between Nazi Germany and our own Culture of Death in the United States. Margart Sanger actually founded Planned Parenthood with a eugenic intent. Currently, we all help fund abortion with our tax money, whether we want to or not. People are persecuted for refusing to participate in abortion. I personally had to choose to leave my job as a pharmacist rather than continue to dispense abortifacients. Many statutes now require Catholic hospitals to dispense abortifacients and Catholic organizations to pay for them through their employee health plans. This is only the tip of the iceberg. We just elected the most abortion-friendly presidential candidate ever. A 1996 statistic from the pro-abortion Alan Guttmacher Institute says that there are 1.37 million abortions in the US annually and approximately 42 million annually worldwide. Death toll estimates for WWII range from 50 to 70 million. Remember WWII lasted 6 years.

How will history judge us; those who aided abortion, those who did nothing to stop it and those who actively resisted the culture of death? More importantly how will God judge us?

In Him,

Jodi

Planned Parenthood Sting

The second in a series of videos called the "Mona Lisa Project" was released yesterday by Live Action Films. The video shows 20 year old, Lila Rose (shown in this photo) posing as a 13 year old girl trying to get an abortion to protect her 31 year old "boyfriend" (aka creepy statutory rapist). The first video was released last week. Both videos show virtually the same reaction from three different Planned Parenthood employees. They steer the girl towards an abortion and assure her they will not report the statutory rape. Two of the employees suggest she go out of state to avoid Indiana's parental consent law. The videos were shot the same day in Indiana in cities 90 miles apart. In the second video, the employee asks the 13 year old what her mother would think if she was in labor for 10 to 12 hours from using a "medicine" abortion - better to just get it over with she advises.

Indiana's Attorney General has finally said he would investigate Planned Parenthood in Indiana .

I'm wondering what is taking so long. I've watched a few episodes of Dateline's to Catch a Predator where a young woman poses as a minor on-line. Police are there to arrest the would-be statutory rapists - immediately. It doesn't matter that the woman is posing as a girl, it matters that the men obviously intend to commit the act. These videos show three separate PP employees acting in virtually the same way, with every intention of covering up statutory rape and sending the child back to her rapist. Good grief, it just seems like not only can Planned Parenthood literally get away with murder, they can use our tax money doing it.

I had to sign a permission slip this week for my 14 year old daughter to ride a school bus from her high school to a church to practice for a choir concert. Can you imagine the outrage if her Catholic high school transported her without my permission? The horror! I can see the local newspaper now, School Associated with Priests Transports Minor Illegally.

In Him,
Jodi

Being Pro-life Outside the Voting Booth

There are many conservative and faithful Catholic voters for whom the issue of abortion is paramount; I would consider myself to be among them. However, I would question how far many of these sincere pro-life friends extend their commitment to life. How far do they - how far do you - take this commitment into everyday decisions? What do you do to be pro-life? If it starts and stops with taking the pro-life voter’s guide into the voter’s booth, I would argue that you are doing very little to end the scourge of abortion in this country.

Unfortunately, I have spoken to many committed Catholic and Christian people over the last few months who do just that. There are a vast number of citizens who take their pro-life position very seriously, at least in the voting booth every four years. The truth is, abortion will end when the hearts and minds of the majority of Americans understand abortion for what it is, the killing of human life. It will not end just because we elected a pro-life president.

Abortion will not end from the top down. Think about it, twenty of the last twenty-eight years our country has had a pro-life president. That is twenty years of “conservative” court appointments, and “pro-life” presidential leadership. Yet, we still have abortion.

Look at it another way, the last two decades there has been a steady decline in the number of abortions. This decline continued, even accelerated, under the pro-abortion Clinton administration, and curiously, the decline stagnated under the "pro-life" Bush administration. For a good reference of a sociological study of abortion see here.

It certainly seems that the person who holds the office of president, and their views on abortion, are virtually irrelevant to either the continuance of abortion in this country or on the actual number of abortions. Perhaps there are other cultural developments that lead to this decline in the number of deaths due to abortion.

Abortion will end from the ground up, from the grass roots, when the American citizenry understands the evil that it is. The question is then, what are we who are pro-life doing to end abortion. What are we doing outside the voting booth? What are we doing to help the women in our own families, neighborhoods, parishes, and communities choose life? What are we doing to bring truth to our culture?

There are plenty of options. You can stand at the annual Life Chain and peacefully pray for an end to abortion. You can march in the National March for Life which is held every January on the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade in Washington, DC, and in communities across the country. You can do personal penance to end abortion and pray fervently every day for its end. More materially, you can donate to your local Crisis Pregnancy Center or Birthright or Gabriel Project. Also, check out Feminists for Life for some fresh ideas about advocating for women and babies in our society. You can donate your time, money, clothing and possessions to allow these agencies and groups to offer real support to women in need who are trying to provide for their children. The thing is, to end abortion, we who care are going to need to do some real penance, some real prayer and fasting, some real hands on sacrifice.

Another way to assist women in crisis pregnancies is to support government programs that provide tangible help to women in need. When I worked as a counselor in a Crisis Pregnancy Center, it was the referrals to government services that enabled many women to see the option to carry their pregnancy to term as viable. Section eight housing, WIC, food stamps and access to health care is the ongoing help that these ladies need. Government leaders who vow to close the door on these programs are closing the door for many of these women and families in need.

You can see that your work starts when you walk out of the voting booth. A woman in a crisis pregnancy does not care who you voted for last November 4; they are just wondering how they are going to get a job, an education, medical care and the housing they need in order to choose life and be a mother. How can you help?

Peace,

Hope

Uneasiness with the reality of abortion

I found this interesting article that addresses the reality that abortion is murder, by someone who supports abortion "rights". http://www.salon.com/opinion/paglia/2008/09/10/palin/index3.html
At least the author is honest! Most people have to somehow deny reality in order to support abortion. Maybe this is why women who have abortions often have psychological problems later.

In Him,

Jodi

Planned Parenthood, meet Sarah Palin, and eat your heart out

She's a mother of 5 and wears her baby on the job. The 2nd ever VP candidate from a major party is not a pro-abortion femi-nazi but she is a member of Feminists for Life. Her political career was made without riding on the coattails of her husband. The "First Dude" is blue collar.

Contrast her to Obama - He voted against a bill that would have protected infant survivors of abortion. He wants abortion available for his daughters (what a dad!) and is quoted as saying babies are a punishment :" “Look, I got two daughters — 9 years old and 6 years old,” he said. “I am going to teach them first about values and morals, but if they make a mistake, I don’t want them punished with a baby."

Governor Palin considers her son, Trig, with Down's Syndrome, a blessing. Her and her husband's statement: "Trig is beautiful and already adored by us. We knew through early testing he would face special challenges, and we feel privileged that God would entrust us with this gift and allow us unspeakable joy as he entered our lives. We have faith that every baby is created for good purpose and has potential to make this world a better place. We are truly blessed."


America is blessed to have her as a candidate for VP! (photo credit http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eeBrCFDUUOc/SEnh6tjqHRI/AAAAAAAAAoY/rCVlMkh3yPY/s320/SPOminbusCrimeBillSigning.jpg)

In Him,
Jodi

childhood illness/infestation trifecta

I think I have just encountered the mother of all parenting mortifications. I spent the wee early hours of Wed a.m. cleaning up vomit and consoling the vomitting (aka my 2 and 5 year olds). Without much sleep and a whole lot of coffee later, I put my three youngest in the van to go to a pediatrician appt. My 5 month old has a cold and I suspect an ear infection, too. We are already late because I was delayed by changing my 2 year old's clothes (he threw up on them right after I got him dressed), and then by the baby pooping. Now, my 5 year old starts vomitting while we are going 60 miles an hour down the highway. I throw a plastic Safeway bag to her (another reason to choose plastic over paper) and we make do until we get there. I wipe her down in the parking lot of the medical office with baby wipes and it basically looks like she wet herself.

In the office visit I discover, yes, indeed the baby has an ear infection - in both ears to be exact. This is while running across the hall to the bathroom with vomitting-again 5 year old, and exam-room-escapee 2 year old.

What can top off this day? First vomitting, second ear infections, what would make it a trifecta? Lice, yes, LICE!!!! I noticed some suspicious head scratching after school and my first grader has lice.

At this point I have no pious thoughts about offerring it up - but I think this would qualify! I'll try not to waste it.

In Him,

Jodi

The Wicked Witch is Dead

That's me, under the house, buried - and only sometimes am I a wicked witch. In order to lift myself from the ground, I must first lift this house above me. To run, I must carry this house along with me, this house and everything in it. This house is filled up. It's filled with kids, my nine kids and the dozen or so neighbor kids who spend their afternoons loitering around my lot. It's filled with clothes and shoes and coats and leotards and soccer jerseys and boy scout uniforms. It's filled with the chore of feeding breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner. The house's desk is filled with papers and books and correspondence and phone messages; it's filled with papers to be graded and notes to be written and a calendar to be planned. All this work - every, every, everyday. Everyday.

And where am I? Oh here I am. I am melting. The wicked witch is melting. I guess that is what it is taking for me. For the wicked witch in me to die, to melt away. Oh no, she's not gone yet, but she is slowly dying. My self pre-occupations, my petty attractions, distractions and attachments, my sloth, my lofty opinions and ideas. Yes, here under this house, a part of me is dying. I am dying and it hurts. Sometimes, it hurts a lot.

However, the wicked witch must die. She must go, for there is no room for her in this house. The more this witch is purged, the lighter the weight of the house. The witch cannot lift the house; she can only be buried and burdened by it. That is all the witch can see of the house; she can only see the burden that it brings to her, for her thoughts are only of herself. The more the witch is concerned with the weight, the heavier is the burden.

The witch begins to melt when the waters of truth and light, of beauty, love and forgiveness are poured out. The thing is, this water is only poured out from above. As Saint Paul tells us in the New Testament book of Colossians,

If then you were raised with Christ, seek what is above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Think of what is above, not of what is on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

And as the witch melts, the burdens lighten. Perhaps someday we can rejoice that the wicked witch is dead; she's finally dead. AMEN.

Peace,

Hope

Putting It In Perspective, part II

Anonymous said...
Please remember that there are many, many families right here in the states who do not have access to healthcare. families who would be bankrupt and lose their homes if they had to pay for the birth of another child.not everyone in our country is "spoiled."

I received the above response to Putting It In Perspective and thought I'd comment on it. In no way was my post meant to suggest that those who are struggling financially or otherwise in this country are nonetheless spoiled by virtue of being American. I know families truly do have hardships of all kinds and that require compassion and assistance.

However, my original intent was to highlight the hardship of those who do not even have the remotest expectation of acquiring things we see as necessary in our country. For instance, health care, as the commenter made reference to, is not an option for some, as there are no doctors, midwives, or medicines even available in their communities. So, in the American mindset, the thinking may go, "we can't have another baby because the doctor bill would crush us." Those in other places and times would not have this sort of thinking at all, as there is no doctor available in the first place. This is what I mean by putting it in perspective. Think tee-pee versus humblest of American homes -- dirt floor, no heating or cooling, extremely limited food and clothing options, health care that consists of gathered herbal remedies, etc. Now picture an impoverished American lifestyle, if all else is equal, the family would have a much higher standard of living than most of humanity could even imagine. The Bible says that the Abraham of the Old Testament was wealthy, yet he was nomadic and lived in a tent. Jesus was raised in a relative hut and born in a stable -- no hospital to pay for there.

God help us to open all of our eyes to this fact. We are called to be joyful and generous no matter what our circumstances. Sometimes it helps to do this if we look past the modern day lifestyle expectations we have developed.

Peace, Hope

Putting it in Perspective

On the HMS website, Dr. Greg Popcak, continued the debate about family size with the following quote from Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger.

"In today's world, where the number of children cannot be very high given living
conditions and other factors, it's very easy to understand." (Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger in Salt of the Earth: The Church at the End of the Millennium. An Interview with Peter Seewald. Ignatius Press, p.200)

Dr. Popcak says he does not agree with this quote, and nor do I. However, I really wonder what this future pope of ours meant by this quote, as there is no context provided and I do not have the book to reference. Surely Cardinal Ratzinger was not referring to the living conditions in the Western World. How could it be that in today's world, it is not easy to raise a large family given our living conditions. Surely he is not addressing the average American's access to health care, education, clean water, safe streets, sufficient clothing and housing. Even what is considered to be living in poverty in America, much of the current world, and most of the historical world, would be grateful for.

I cannot imagine that I have it so tough, even with all these kids, when I have a comfortable climate controlled home, can wash the families clothes and dishes with the touch of a few buttons, have access to healthy, convenient food, have top doctors a phone call away, plenty of books to learn from, and clean water that pours in whenever I want it with the flip of a faucet. I mean, really, we Americans are so spoiled if we entertain the idea for a second that it is too tough to raise a large family. In most cases, it is considered too tough because we like to keep ourselves comfortable. It is our devotion to the easy life, that gets in the way, not our actual living conditions.

Even today, there are happy families giving glory to God who eat cornmeal for every meal, who carry water from wells a good distance away, who are barely literate and have little access to even the most basic health care, who wash their clothes in rivers and cook over fire pits. I am certainly not advocating that this is God's ideal lifestyle for humans, just putting our own American lifestyle and expectations in perspective.

When considering if we can provide for one more soul in our family, perhaps we should look beyond what the neighbors have and give to their children, and consider all the blessing we really do have to share.

Peace, Hope

Brothers and Sisters

I came across this post today from Danielle Bean's blog. It is so positive, and tells a story of the beauty of siblings and big families. I really agree with Danielle's perspective on this, and must say that nothing warms my heart more then when my eight children are loving each other the way only a brother or sister can.

Peace, Hope

Mary!!!

Answer to laundry dilemma coming soon!!! In the mean time - try not to fall off of Mount Everest as you await my reply! I have climbed that mountain of clothes many a time!

Blessings
Christi aka mum2twelve

My Two Cents on the Attachment Parenting Debate

Quote from Dr. Popcak at Heart, Mind, and Strength blog:

"I would agree that you cannot do AP without going to the nuthouse if you have
another child every year. But the AP response would be that, unless God
has somehow specifically called a person to act in a manner that is contrary to
what he created the child's body to need (which would be remarkable considering
Pope Benedict's assertion at Ravensburg that the Christian God
is a God of order and reason who does not contradict the laws of his
own creation) then it is imperative to the bonding process and the health
of the mother that children be spaced about 2.5 to 3 years apart (give or
take)."

This is in reference to what has turned into a debate at HMS and at Danielle Bean's blog about parenting a large family and attachment parenting principles. I pulled the above quote because I think it contains a fundamental part of the argument.

First, no where in this debate has anyone really laid out what attachment parenting is. Looking back, I was a rabid adherent to Attachment Parenting philosophy and practices when I began my mothering career fifteen years ago. Now with baby #9 due to arrive next month, I have gained much wisdom and experience regarding parenting methods and philosophies. I would still call myself an attached and attentive parent, but I would not embrace Attachment Parenting as a philosophy any more. Why? Because family life and mothering is much too complicated. I would not suggest that one must or must not follow an arbitrary set of rules to be a good parent -- beyond the "rules" of our faith. Can a mother be an attached and loving parent and use a pacifier, or a crib, or wean at 18 months? Can a child be healthy and whole, physically and psychologically, and be attended to by older siblings, strapped in a high chair at meals, or attend pre-school? Wouldn't some of these violate the tenants of Attachment Parenting?

Even so, I would still advocate for the benefits of natural birth, breastfeeding, a mother's presence, and homeschooling, but see these more as goals and ideals than absolute mandates for everyone in all situations.

I would argue that loving parents can depart from AP methods and still be attached. Just as adoptive parents can still lovingly bond through bottlefeeding. It is donating yourself to your parenting vocation that makes a good parent, not a set of methods. Sure, breastfeeding and co-sleeping may help the process, but are not required. In some instances, AP methods could even interfere with loving parenting; I have seen it happen. We all have different circumstances.

Now to specifically address Dr. Popcak's assertion that "it is imperative to the bonding process and the health of the mother that children be spaced about 2.5 to 3 years apart (give or take)." I totally disagree with this statement. Children can be loved and well parented, healthy and happy, and grow up in a large family with closely spaced children. My vocation as the mother of one such family requires much of me, and many nights I go to bed exhausted emotionally, spiritually and physically. This is my path to heaven, and this is what God has created for me and our family. Yes, this is what God has done in my family, and as was mentioned above, God does not contradict the laws of his own creation.

Additionally, the burden does not entirely fall upon my husband and I to ensure that we only have children spaced an arbitrary number of months apart in order to never have to use a pacifier or because of some parenting method. God has given some couples abundant fertility. Our families may not fit neatly into a philosophy or look like the perfectly "planned" NFP family. Just as God permits infertility, infertility that can lead to pain, desperation, or can lead to spiritual growth and other avenues of charitable living. Couples who are very fertile have our own avenue of charitable living and a unique burden that can lead to disorder and pain or to spiritual growth. Infertile couples or small families are not necessarily less married or less Catholic then large families. Large families are not necessarily less attached, loving, or healthy than small families. I say necessarily, because families of any size can allow their struggles and challenges to get in the way of their path to holiness or they can use these struggles and challenges as their avenue to holiness.

Let's all be careful how we judge families of different shapes and sizes and not create burdens for each other that God never intended.

Peace, Hope

Drowning in Clothes

With 5 kids, it happens - too many clothes! All over the bedroom, in the laundry, etc. We get a lot of hand me downs - which I appreciate. I rarely buy clothes for kids. They get underwear, socks, tights, etc for the Feast of St. Nicholas (stocking stuffers) and Easter (Easter baskets). Relatives know I like to have nice clothes (Mass clothes) for gifts on birthdays and Christmas. My 3 oldest go to Catholic school with a uniform policy so that cuts down on the want for the latest fashions.

I work outside the home, 4 days a week now with my husband recuperating from two knee surgeries. I've done the FLY Lady system off and on for the past 5 years- but honestly only follow it on my days off. Yesterday I did a couple of 27 Fling Boogies on clothes - which means throw out 27 items and give away 27 items. Having a set number of items to give away has really helped me with detachment. Sometimes I end up giving away something that I wouldn't have considered in the past, and I honestly can't remember regretting giving something away. I throw out clothes that are really stained up. 10 years ago I would have kept stained clothes. I rarely find what I keep for later and the more I keep the odds are I won't find it later. I've discovered if I don't get rid of these bags of clothes there is a tendency for them to "vomit" all over the house later. I have a big closet downstairs and my clothes-horse 8 year old will get into it and the next thing I'll have clothes sprawled all over the basement. Plus, I'm going to try out consigning a lot of the items that are in good condition so I can have clothes for my needs right now, like a baby due in 5 weeks!

In Him,

Jodi

Renouncing

Last Sunday's gospel was from Luke and talks about "whoever does not hate father and mother", etc. "is not worthy to be my disciple". It was also the same reading from daily mass on the last day of my former pastor's assignment. Before going on to his new parish, his homily spoke of the calling to the priesthood and how they projects you undertake are not your projects, but God's.

When I reflected on this gospel reading last weekend, the last sentence about renouncing all one's possessions struck me. Of course, the vocation to married life does not call for literal renouncements of all possessions in order to be a disciple of Jesus. Nevertheless, I have found I have had to renounce much in order to live my vocation more fully. I feel like my life is not my own, in much the same way my life would not be my own if I were a nun.

The biggest example of renouncement is in my use of time. When I was younger I had numerous hobbies and dreamed about the fun things I would do when I got older. When I first had children, I resented that I couldn't do as many "fun things". But as my idea of vocation has matured the resentment has certainly lessened. While the vocation to the religious life may be a higher calling, I think that the vocation to marriage is lived more fully the more one renounces or sacrifices for the vocation.

In Him,

Jodi

The Beautiful Life

When I think of a saintly mother, I picture a sweetly smiling, perfectly patient, neatly dressed lady in a well kept house with cooperative children. The family's days surely flow seamlessly from work to play, from meals to bedtime with little complaint and lots of love. For this saintly mother, with her skilled parenting and virtuous demeanor, would cultivate peaceful surroundings, well behaved, smiling children, and a beautiful life. Shouldn't this be my goal too, this beautiful life?

Surely our primary goals involve loving God and bringing this love to our families, and teaching our children to know and serve God and others. If we do these things, won't we achieve this beautiful life we imagine? How can it be then, that in our pursuit of the beautiful life, we compromise our true goals, to know, love and serve God?

We begin to serve the image; we begin to strive for the beautiful life; we begin to insist our families and our homes appear beautiful and well ordered, at least on the outside. We define our selves by our parenting style, by our educational philosophy, by the way we eat or dress, by the choices we make for our children. We decide that we do things a certain way, that we know best, that this is God's will for us, and for everyone. The image is being served.

Can it be that God permits messes and disorder? Can it be that sometimes God calls us to compromise our worthy ideals? Could it be that God may call us to sacrifice some of our well intentioned good deeds, some of our vision of beauty, some of our well crafted ideology?

The answer is yes, and it is painful and confusing. However, it is best to keep in mind that this pain and confusion stems from our disordered service of the vision, our vision of the beautiful life we believe we were called to, the vision that we have put before doing God's will.

For doing God's will may actually lead us to places, to ideas and understandings we never could imagine. God's infiniteness clashes with our finiteness. We arrange our little worlds a certain way to make sense for us, but God calls us to grow.

For it is in the messes and disorder that we demonstrate our patience and virtue, it is with pain and sickness that we reveal love and forgiveness, it is when we encounter frustrations, disappointments, conflict and embarrassments that our true character is revealed. It is during the trials of life, when we fall on our knees, that we gain wisdom and grow. This is where we meet grace. Let us turn our attentions then, away from the beautiful vision, and fix our eyes on God, wherever that may lead.

Peace, Hope

Why Me?

One thing I hear regularly from others when commenting on the number of children I have is, "Oh, you must be so patient." My usual response is, "I'm working on it!" If they only knew how much I have to work on it. I am not a natually patient person. Sometimes I wonder why God would give eight children to an impatient, perfectionist, introvert like me, surely my children do not benefit from this bent I have. Wouldn't a gregarious, messy, fun, creative type provide better mothering to this brood? Daily I have to work to overcome my personality type, while pasting a smile to my face and confronting another mess, something broken, a child screaming and pounding down the steps, or a pile of kids jumping on me each time I sit down for some peace. I know loud, chaotic situations are a challenge to the average adult, but one would think dealing with childish noises and mishaps should come naturally to me.

In the much prayer I have done over this something comes to mind. God loves my children, yes, but he also loves me. This mothering thing, it is not supposed to be easy. My vocation is designed to lead me to Christ. God uses all these challenges to lead me to holiness and virtue, and instead of fighting it or thwarting his plan, I must cooperate. Perhaps an impatient, perfectionist, introvert is just the person to have a large family, perhaps it is the only way for me to be molded and changed into a saint. God loves me, yes he does.

Be All You Can Be

Here is what my husband's day looks like. He get up at 5:30 and leaves the house to catch the 7:00 am train. He commutes to work a total of four hours a day, four days a week. During his train commute he works on his lap top computer. He has a high pressure job, and all day long I know he works very hard. One day a week he is able to forgo his commute and work in his home office, but even these days he barely has time for lunch. He likes his work and enjoys his vocation, but he definitely has a challenging life. I know many others live challenging, productive lives as well. Many men and women have demanding careers that require much skill and responsibility.

I think about this sometimes when I read various parenting magazines in waiting rooms of doctors' offices or while getting the kids' haircuts. It always amazes me how the articles describe the work of a mother as almost unbearably demanding or suggest it is the most difficult of jobs. The articles sometimes suggest that putting dinner on the table, getting the laundry done, or even getting showered and dressed in anything beyond sweats is almost beyond reach of accomplishing with any regularity.

Now I certainly have had some bad days and even weeks when life seemed overwhelming, times when getting the basics done was a real struggle. Of course, we all have, it is part of learning and growing, and just managing the challenges of life. However, when I read the magazines it is no wonder that the employed women and men of the world, who are not home raising a family or keeping a home wonder what we do all day.

The popular notion is that our husbands come home to a messy house, no dinner, and their wives wearing sweats, which begs the question, just what do we do all day anyway? I am sorry to say that even some of my favorite parenting resources, especially regarding attachment parenting and breastfeeding, fall into this mindset as well.

Although we will never escape having "one of those days" now and then, there really is no excuse for not living out our vocations admirably. Being up and dressed and ready for work is not a unique idea, and there is no reason at home mothers are exempt from this task. Having some degree of organization to our home and to our day should be a minimum expectation we have for ourselves. Keeping up with the laundry and preparing dinner for our families should naturally fall to the parent at home, and distractions like attending play groups, cruising the internet, or attending field trips may be keeping us from these important tasks, that when left undone, leave us feeling discouraged and unprepared.

Our vocations, as Catholic mothers, are noble and worth giving our best too. We need to see it as real work and rise to meet the challenges of each day. We need to prioritize and do the first things first, and learn how to better manage our obligations as any professional in the workplace does. God calls us to give our best to every task, every day, no matter where we do our work.

Peace, Hope

All You Need is Love

I used to think I knew it all. When my children were little and my world was a little smaller, I definitely had some strong opinions about how "it" must be done. Parenting, that is; I was confident I knew the right methods. For instance, it was easy to get my two year old to play a "clean up" game with me while we sang and picked up his little basket of toys. This would lead me to think how simple it is to get kids to help around the house. When my little one year old would say "ta-oo" (thank you) when I handed him a cookie, I would proudly observe what a polite child I had raised, as if the job was done.

I have since had some time to reflect on the issue of parenting styles and methods. I have also observed my children exhibit less that helpful and polite behavior at times, and have seen friends with radically different parenting methods who have delightful children. Although, I do think there are some preferred ways of raising children, I no longer believe that there is only one way to do most things. I am definitely more open-minded and relaxed and less judgemental. I have observed that children are way more resilient than I believed them to be. I also have learned that there are some things that are critical to good parenting, and these things don't always translate easily into a formula, method or philosophy.

Beyond all the methods, the one thing that is paramount to parenting is love. Love of God, love of your husband and family, and love of each individual child. Love that seeks out the will of God and leads us to a life of prayer. Love that makes our husband's needs a priority and brings grace to his life. Love that compels us to serve our families with passion. Love that allows each child to feel the embrace of God. This love will give us the wisdom to make the appropriate parenting choices, and will help smooth over the rough spots. Love conquers all.

Peace, Hope

Three Tips for Homeschooling

We are well into our second week of school for the new year, and my kids will tell you that it is really hard to crack open the books when the neighborhood kids are skating and biking down the sidewalks. However, we are taking a beach vacation in September, so it will be good to have an entire month of work done before we leave. It will be a well deserved break.

I was recently asked by a friend for some time to sit and talk about homeschooling. She wanted some advice. I came up with three things that have really worked for me in organizing our homeschooling effort that I thought I would share with you.

1. Incorporate some structure in your day. The amount of structure and the timing for things will look different in each family, but having a plan for when meals are, a time for naps, a period for school, work and play, and a time for getting up and getting to bed, are very helpful. A routine allows the children to understand that there is a time for everything. If the important things of the day follow a logical and anticipated routine, it cuts out a lot of nagging and arguing. The kids and I know what to do when and they know if they are responsible with their work they can enjoy their free time later.

2. Have your lessons written down in advance. I found that when the kids had to come to me for what to do next through the day, and I had to figure it out, it was just not working. Having the lessons written out ahead of time allows the children to see exactly what they need to accomplish before the school day is considered done. With their lesson planners, they have been able to learn how to budget their time, and plan ahead for big projects. I give them some flexibility, and the responsibility, for taking charge of their work. They have learned to be independent and self-motivated students.

3. Focus on the basics. The classic reading and writing, 'rithmatic and religion should form the foundation of your curriculum. If you do not have these subjects well established, then there is no use going off on elaborate unit studies in history and science, or anything else, that is unless the lessons incorporate a lot of reading and writing.

So, hopefully, some of these suggestions can inspire you to another successful year of homeschooling. If you are not homeschooling, may you and your children enjoy a good year. I still can't believe another summer has passed us by (almost!).

Peace, Hope

Here I Am!

I have been a bit absent from the blog lately as I have been carried away with real life. We had some travel and various time consuming events, we have started homeschooling up again, and I have survived my first trimester. So, as I attempt to get back into a regular routine again I can hopefully be posting more regularly. Talk to you soon!

Peace, Hope

Not a fan of large families

Margaret Sanger, is quoted "the best thing a large family can do for a child is to kill it." My local newspaper is praising the organization she founded, Planned Parenthood, for its commitment to the poor and healthcare. http://www.spokesmanreview.com/opinion/story.asp?ID=202755

I just sent them a letter to the editor. I had to keep it to 200 words or less so I didn't have room to address the reason why they focus on the poor: eugenics. Hopefully they'll print it.

To the editor:

In your editorial on Aug. 3, 2007, "Crucial Response", you described health district board members' reluctance to provide tax-payer funding forPlanned Parenthood. I think funding Planned Parenthood is a bad idea. 1/3 of Planned Parenthood Federation of America's (PPFA) funding comes from tax-payers. While it calls itself a "non-profit" organization, it had an excess income of $36.6 million in fiscal year 2002-2003. So how does a "non-profit" manage to make such a large profit? It is sustained by tax-payer money. Planned Parenthood, the nations's #1 abortion provider, nets more revenue from abortion when it can rely on tax-payer money to pay the utilities, building maintenance, etc.

Why not use the money for clinics whose main priorities are patients and healthcare? PPFA's 25-year plan, Vison 2025, doesn't even contain the word patient. It's #1 goal is "Planned Parenthood will ensure that sexuality is understoood as an essential, lifelong aspect of being human and that it is celebrated with respect, openness and mutuality." Note what the #1 goal is not: it is not eradicating cervical or breast cancer or serving patients. Just this month, a Planned Parenthood facility in California is facing its second lawsuit in two months for negligence. The newest lawsuit is for allegations that a patient's cervical cancer was misdiagnosed for over a year.

40 Days for Life

I read about a great pro-life campaign in the National Catholic Register last week. http://ncregister.com/site/article/3209

The website for the campaign is www.40daysforlife.com There are a lot of ways a busy mom can get involved, praying and sacrificing. Check it out!

In Him,
Jodi

How to Clean the Kitchen

I have mentioned before all the lists I have for the children that are hung strategically through the house. I decorate them with a little clip art and laminate them, so they do look decent. The lists serve as reminders to the children for what or how they are to do things. Below is the list hung in my kitchen.

How to Clean the Kitchen

Before Meals:

Help prepare meals as necessary

Empty dishwasher if needed

Set table with plates, napkins, utensils, and glasses

Fill glasses with water

Set out vitamins at breakfast

After Meals:

Clear table

Rinse dishes

Load dishwasher

Put food away, wipe off jars

Wash and dry items that need hand washing

Clean off highchair

Wipe table, chairs, counters and stove

Wipe out microwave

Rinse out sponges and dishcloths

Hang dishcloths and towels

Rinse out sink and run disposal

Start dishwasher if needed

Sweep floor

Additional jobs in evening: trash needs taken out and dishcloths taken to laundry.

Peace, Hope

Contraception Works!

One thing that contraception has done very well is to separate the connection of the marriage act from procreation, not a big surprise, as that is what it is intended to do. However, I do not just mean that sex and babies are separated in the physical sense, as in if you use "protection" you can avoid pregnancy. I am suggesting this separation has affected our society's very understanding of the purpose of marriage, sex and babies.

A recent poll of married couples suggests that children are perceived as irrelevant to finding happiness in marriage. It is now completely common, accepted, and expected for people who are not married to have babies and for people who are married to choose to avoid having babies. Further, our separation of marriage, sex and babies has resulted in "valid" marriages of same sexed persons, and conceptions without sex (in vitro fertilization, donor eggs, surrogate mothers, and cloning). Perhaps you agree with these cultural shifts, perhaps you do not, but one thing follows another, and the point is that contraception works. We have effectively separated what was meant to be intrinsically joined.

"What God has joined, let no man separate," we hear in the traditional wedding as man and woman are joined as husband and wife. God joins a man and a woman in marriage, with the resultant sex and babies. This is God's design, but in our limited human thinking, we have separated all of the above so that today our cultural understandings of marriage, family, husband, wife, mother and father are confused.

This is not about married couples who do not have children or have smaller families, due to their God given vocations, or because of infertility. This is about the confused, shocked, and dismayed reactions that confront couples in loving marriages when they announce that *surprise* they are having a baby!

For some reason, even faithful Catholics seem to think that married couples who are having babies are simply making a lifestyle choice. The idea is that couples who have been blessed with many children are doing it because...they always wanted a big family...they love kids...they are really organized and hard working...they are trying to "prove" something...they are trying to keep up with the big family down the block...et cetera. There is always some planned reason that must be attached to the excessive procreation in some families, reasons that ignore the simple connection between marriage, sex and babies.

Those who choose to simply follow God's plan for marriage, as the Church so beautifully describes, may find that the babies just come. It really is as simple as that, no further explanation needed.

Peace, Hope

Undeniable truth and reason

I was at a class last night where one of the students made a comment about undeniable truth and how things in society are changing for the worse. One of the instructors then responded, basically denying the existence of truth. It reminded me of the Passion in the Gospel of John when Jesus tells Pontius Pilate "For this I was born and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice."
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Pilate said to him, "What is truth?"

Then a discussion ensued (mostly one-sided) with the instructors talking about how marriage is just a social construct and how it is different in different cultures. This is not Catholic teaching and quite frankly their reasonings did not back up their arguments.

John Paul 2 wrote about how culture does not completely define man in Veratatis Splendor "It must certainly be admitted that man always exists in a particular culture, but it must also be admitted that man is not exhaustively defined by that same culture. Moreover, the very progress of cultures demonstrates that there is something in man which transcends those cultures. This "something" is precisely human nature: this nature is itself the measure of culture and the condition ensuring that man does not become the prisoner of any of his cultures, but asserts his personal dignity by living in accordance with the profound truth of his being. To call into question the permanent structural elements of man which are connected with his own bodily dimension would not only conflict with common experience, but would render meaningless Jesus' reference to the "beginning", precisely where the social and cultural context of the time had distorted the primordial meaning and the role of certain moral norms (cf. Mt 19:1-9). This is the reason why "the Church affirms that underlying so many changes there are some things which do not change and are ultimately founded upon Christ, who is the same yesterday and today and for ever".97 Christ is the "Beginning" who, having taken on human nature, definitively illumines it in its constitutive elements and in its dynamism of charity towards God and neighbour.98 "

The instructor who denied truth then went on to illuminate problems with parenting children of divorce (she also taught a class on that) and how second marriages are more likely to end in divorce than first ones. She didn't discuss it, but I believe there is research that shows how divorce is bad for both children and parents. Basically science shows what our faith teaches. I saw this instructor looking truth in the face and basically denying it. JP2 wrote about this in Fides et Ratio "People can even run from the truth as soon as they glimpse it because they are afraid of its demands. Yet, for all that they may evade it, the truth still influences life. "

When I went home I discussed this and some of the other ridiculous arguments with my husband and teenage daughter. My daughter was amused by their lack of reason. It is amazing how easily kids can detect poor reasoning. I remember sitting in a restaurant with my kids when John Kerry was running for president. He was saying on the TV in the restaurant how he personally didn't believe in abortion because it was an article of his faith as a Catholic but he couldn't legislate that on other people who weren't Catholic. I proceeded to rip on his reasoning "I believe stealing is wrong, but I won't legislate that on others" etc.

Later my mother-in-law told me that my daughter asked her who she was going to vote for. My mil said it was a complicated decision. My daughter told her the decision was easy - you should vote for someone who stands up for what they believe. She said John Kerry says he believes abortion is wrong but yet he votes for money to fund abortion. Therefore he doesn't stand up for what he believes and you shouldn't vote for him. My mil was impressed, my daughter was about 10 years old.

In Him,
Jodi

Two Pink Lines

So, there it was, right there on the bathroom counter, a pregnancy test with two pink lines. It was a bit faint, but definitely, there was a second line. Hmm, this with all the other evident symptoms, and I feel pretty confident making my own diagnoses. Wow, pregnant with baby #9. It never ceases to amaze and surprise me. How am I going to do this?! How can I be pregnant NOW? There are so many things I have to do, that I was sure now was not the right time. Things like getting my house decluttered and back in order before starting another school year. Things like a family reunion, a black tie function and my twenty year high school reunion --ARGH, I have to go to all these places pregnant. Oh, the comments! Oh, my body looking so pregnant! Oh, and I'm so tired and nauseous and emotional! How am I going to do this?

Pep talk to self: This may not be my timing, but what do I know anyway? This is God's timing and I can already see some good aspects to it. It is summer break, so I am not having to get up every morning for the busy busy school days. That helps when you can barely get off the couch. I have already had a longer break between babies than I have had in a long time. Right now, my baby is over 18 months, usually I am in my last trimester or already have another in arms by now. The kids are so excited. My 14 year old son leaned over me to give a big hug with a huge grin on his face. Then he picked up the house and got his little sisters dressed. It is good. It's all good. I am just praying that I and my little one stay healthy, and that I start feeling better soon. I pray for confidence, confidence to face all the worldly judgements and questions from strangers and even well meaning friends and family. I am excited now too, and already attached to this little tiny one forming within.

God Bless, Hope

Patience

Someone posted a comment on the Et tu? blog asking about practical pointers for practicing patience. I am in the Regnum Christi Movement and we typically have a program of life each year with a virtue to work on for the year. My virtue is patience. We have concrete means with regard to God, self and others that help us to develop our virtue. The program also has an ideal (usually Christ practicing that particular virtue) and a motto. We go over our program of life once a month with our spiritual guide and it is individualized. What works for one person may not work for another person. The concrete points are positive - not negative. A concrete point would not be - I will not lose my cool with x when they y. Anything that gives you practice in lengthening your fuse is helpful. Virtue is like a muscle, the more it is excercised the stronger it gets. Particular examins are also helpful, doing a night balance at night for example. Or if you can really focus you could try doing one at midday also and reviewing your morning and trying to think of all the times you were impatient and again at night before you go to bed. You can be more prepared the next time you are tempted to lose your patience. You can know I am always tempted to lose my patience in this situation so you can think of ways ahead of time that you can do the opposite of your temptation. Praying to Jesus, Mary or other saints during the temptation can help. Thinking of some motto or something else that inspires you in time of temptation can also help. Immensely helpful is a good, regular confessor and frequent confession - every 2 weeks or every month.

In Him,
Jodi

Ora et Labora

Ora et Labora, Latin for pray and work, is the motto of the Benedictine order, founded by Saint Benedict, whose feast day we recall today. Pray and work, there are two ways to consider this powerful phrase. One view is to make your prayer manifest in your work, the other is to consecrate your work with prayer.

Prayer becomes manifest in work when, through prayer, the Spirit leads you to specific tasks. Perhaps you will feel God's call to perform certain works of charity, helping a needy neighbor or bringing a meal to a family. Maybe your prayer will lead you to new ways to serve your husband or help one of your children. Prayer can enlighten you to many productive activities that enable you to serve your family and community in new or better ways. We must always be attentive to God's tug on our conscience to perform works of love and mercy.

We consecrate our work with prayer when we offer up even the most insignificant, repetitive or aggravating work to our Lord. God calls mothers to many such tasks, the jobs few may see or appreciate. But, if our work is done in a spirit of service, humility, and love, and offered to our Lord as a physical act of prayer, our work is transformed to the supernatural, and we are transformed as well.

Peace, Hope

Mega-Mom Interviews

Jen over at Et tu? did a series of interviews with some "mega-moms," a.k.a., mothers of large families. I thought it was interesting and appreciated the perspective of some of the other ladies who responded. Check it out here.

Peace, Hope

A Modern Day Noah

Our family went on an outing to a movie theatre last weekend. It's something that's not usually worth doing, but given the heat outside and the exhaustion of my sons who had just returned from camping, it seemed like a fun option. My husband checked out the movie reviews on the Conference of Catholic Bishop's site and we settled on Evan Almighty.

I wasn't sure what to expect as, without television, I remain pretty ignorant of new movie releases. Evan Almighty, though, got me really thinking about how God works in the lives of his people. Strangely (must be hormones) I even got a little misty eyed thinking about it. The movie is about a somewhat self-obsessed and materialistic, but nice enough guy, "Evan," and his wife and three sons. The family moves to Virginia to be near Washington, DC, as Evan is a newly elected Senator. Then quite by surprise, God starts intervening in Evan's life and he undergoes a metamorphosis into a very different person -- a person very much resembling the Biblical, Noah.

Just like Noah, God calls Evan to build an ark. God causes Evan's beard and hair to grow long and white, and clothes him in Noah-like robes. Evan is to build an ark in his modern day, upscale suburban neighborhood. For a person obsessed with his image, this was an unwelcome and uncharacteristic change for Evan.

The movie had some important lessons. One lesson was that God is in control of all things. Another lesson was that he uses failed humans to do his work on earth. A third lesson was that God loves us and everything we are called to is ultimately for goodness. Forth, it is evident in the movie that doing God's will is not easy, but can challenge all of our preconceived notions about what we think is best. Last, the movie shows that to follow God we must swim against the tide, and though our culture may mock us or merely misunderstand us, God's will surpasses all the transient and insignificant things the world has to offer.

I don't really think God is going to call any of us to physically build an ark in our neighborhoods, or transform our appearance into an Old Testament hero, but he does have plan for each of us. God may not appear before us, but we can still hear his voice. God's plan for us is one born of love, the eternal love our Creator has for his creatures. What God calls us to is obedience, this obedience may not always be easy, but the blessings we receive in this life and the next, surpasses the weight of any earthly burden. Pray for discernment, humility and courage, as you carry out the work of God.

Peace, Hope