So, there it was, right there on the bathroom counter, a pregnancy test with two pink lines. It was a bit faint, but definitely, there was a second line. Hmm, this with all the other evident symptoms, and I feel pretty confident making my own diagnoses. Wow, pregnant with baby #9. It never ceases to amaze and surprise me. How am I going to do this?! How can I be pregnant NOW? There are so many things I have to do, that I was sure now was not the right time. Things like getting my house decluttered and back in order before starting another school year. Things like a family reunion, a black tie function and my twenty year high school reunion --ARGH, I have to go to all these places pregnant. Oh, the comments! Oh, my body looking so pregnant! Oh, and I'm so tired and nauseous and emotional! How am I going to do this?
Pep talk to self: This may not be my timing, but what do I know anyway? This is God's timing and I can already see some good aspects to it. It is summer break, so I am not having to get up every morning for the busy busy school days. That helps when you can barely get off the couch. I have already had a longer break between babies than I have had in a long time. Right now, my baby is over 18 months, usually I am in my last trimester or already have another in arms by now. The kids are so excited. My 14 year old son leaned over me to give a big hug with a huge grin on his face. Then he picked up the house and got his little sisters dressed. It is good. It's all good. I am just praying that I and my little one stay healthy, and that I start feeling better soon. I pray for confidence, confidence to face all the worldly judgements and questions from strangers and even well meaning friends and family. I am excited now too, and already attached to this little tiny one forming within.
God Bless, Hope
